Testimonials

I am a retired RN experienced in Intensive Care and Coronary Care. I was working fulltime when I learned I had breast cancer. No breast cancer had been in my family up to this point, so it was a complete shock.

I was diagnosed Thanksgiving of 1999 after I found a very small lump in my right breast. Holidays have a way of making people "too busy to listen", so after calling, worrying and finally getting an appointment with my doctor, I met my new oncologist. She discovered a breast that was raised, reddened with skin looking like orange peel. I was tested immediately and found to have a highly aggressive form of breast cancer which was now stage IV, with cancer spread to a 7.5 cm growth in the breast. Also found was a growth in the liver, which had spread to my lungs, bone and 13 lymph nodes. Someone at that time gave me two months to live. I was diagnosed with Her2+++Estrogen+++Progesterone+++Inflammatory breast cancer.

I was extremely fortunate to have an oncology doctor who was on the cutting edge. She immediately started the big guns "Chemo ACTH” and a year later, after all these fantastically powerful drugs, my right breast was removed and a tram flap was drawn up from the abdomen to build a breast matching the other side, where also half was removed due to testing showing questionable crystals.

When I awoke from surgery, I had the most beautiful pair of breasts -- which even included "perky nipples" (the surgeon gave that decision to my husband unbeknownst to me). But three days later, I woke up with a temperature of 103. From then on, I lost the whole right breast, even with many powerful antibiotics, excisions, and the aid of a wound vac (a pump they attach to your chest that tries to draw blood into the dying tissue) my new breast died. By the way, being attached to the wound vac gave me about two feet of walking space. I was unable to carry it and I was stuck on this machine for three months. It gave me 45 minutes of battery -- just enough to do weekly office visits with my doctor. Many times this visit sent me straight back into the hospital. At that point, I possessed very little skin and an area with a depression that had to be closed by grafting. Not a pleasing site to see. My surgeon did want to do a flap from over the shoulder to rebuild a new breast after I was stronger.

I have an extremely loving and supportive husband, and our visiting nurses made him an official nurse, since he changed those awful bandages, hung my IV's and was at my side caring for me for three months. When it came to having more surgery to replace my breast, he told me he "loved me just the way I was” and frankly, I was frightened after all that happened. So, we decided to seek other avenues. We did many internet searches, looked at many different types of prostheses, but when I met Barb (at one of the yearly cancer conferences), I found out about Prosthetic Illusions, and Radiant Impressions. The creation of my first prosthesis was the most interesting experience. It was literally like being made into a paper-mâché chest cast. Barb made it a comfortable experience with no embarrassment. In fact, I thought it was extremely funny. Barb is fantastic and when I told her I regretted that I would never have a breast tattoo, she offered to put one on my “new breast”. She is a very talented artist, and does many types of facial prostheses. I agreed, and since a butterfly to me is LIFE, we started with a rather small pinkish butterfly.

I found I am unable to use the prosthetic glue because I developed an extreme sensitivity to any form of adhesive. I did try, but for some reason my body and the breast prostheses became antagonists and this resulted in my “first breast” disintegrating. (At least it was not my body). Radiant Impressions was great and studied what had happened so they could improve their product. I believe Barb said they had it hanging on a wall somewhere. They quickly created a new replacement breast and Barb got braver and put a larger purple and blue butterfly sitting at the edge of the nipple. No one knows it is there but me (and now, you). This prosthesis was made to order, shaped to my body so that it fits all the weird body indentations left from the mastectomy. I now wear it with a shelved body shirt and not a bra, because for me, bras are not made wide enough on the sides. I love the lightness of my prostheses, I wear it swimming and exercising and to Taekwondo. I find it easy to wash – I roll it in a towel and step on it to force out the moisture. It is dry in minutes and I pop it back on, and off I go. If the day becomes overly warm, I apply baby powder on my chest under the prosthesis, and that keeps me cool and comfortable.

There has only been one incident (since learning about my sensitivity to adhesives) that I have lost it. What a surprise to the man in the shoe store who, as I bent over to slip on a shoe, found it at his feet. My fantastic girlfriend just stepped in, bent down with her skirt covering things, picked it up and I popped it back in place. I learned the top of the body shirt must also have some support!

As the years have gone by, I have shared its soft lightweight feel with many other women (locker rooms are full of inquisitive women). Since I was a nurse with a lot of teaching experience, my oncologist introduced me to others as they were diagnosed. As Her2 was just recently discovered during my diagnosis, and Herceptin developed just in time to save my life, we had a group of Herceptin patients all receiving treatment at the same time. We ended up with a group of 6,"Herceptin Girls" that the rest of the cancer clinic nicknamed the "Ya Ya’s". We would talk and laugh and I would pass around my prostheses. I shared it then for the first time, and as the years passed, I shared my "butterfly boob” during several teaching sessions. It fit well and gave me the confidence to get out and do the things I did before cancer. I started researching good nutrition and took fresh fruit to make smoothies or homemade chicken soup to the clinic. My best friend Ginny, my chemo sister, helped. Some days I would just go in to give hand massages and to inform the patients of important questions they needed to ask, and told them to ask again and again until they understood, etc. My oncologist would come out and ask me, “what are you teaching today? Ah, I thought so", then she’d smile and go back to work. Many there were frightened and needed questions answered clearly in English, not medical terms. They not only had cancer questions, but also concerns about daily life. All deserved good answers so they could make smart decisions. Each person I met had many new fears with cancer. The jokes, conversation and soft music I brought in seemed to make the clinic less stressful to visit. We looked forward, if not to the treatments, then to the camaraderie and a place to find understanding and strength. It made all the difference in the world to each of us. Please don't think this was just for breast cancer women. We had many men join in our discussions due to their need for information. Even those patients too ill to join in would listen (you could tell they were listening and you could see them cracking small little smiles). This helped pass the time during the hours of treatment.

Because my prosthetic has made me feel that I look “normal”, and not different, I have the poise and confidence to be involved and out front, researching, learning and sharing with others who have cancer. I was honored by Channel 7 News here in Denver as one of their "Everyday Heroes." During that ceremony, I wore a fitted brown velvet dress, and hidden underneath was my breast prosthesis decorated with an opulent purple butterfly sitting on a rose.